Prose

Art

Reviews

OVER MORNING COFFEE

"well, sob, it's my goddamn breast isn't
it, was the last time i looked at it, eh,"

"until the time comes, how in the hell do
i know how i feel,"

"i'm damned sick and tired of others telling
me how i ought to feel, right, fucking right,"

"you can just guess the whispering, it's a
small town you know, we heard, we know, we heard,
we know,"

"shit, it just isn't worth it to live maybe
an extra year and just be hanging on,"

"the chemo, the fucking chemo, and doctor's
office appointment after, you sit there waiting,
like waiting forever,"

"you know what the bastard medicos want,
they've already talked it over, decided, hmm,"

"i want to shout, 'what do you need me
for,' i see your fancy diplomas on the wall, but
what about me, what about me,"

smoky clouds hovering over greasy half-
eaten diner-caffe "breakfast specials,"

twisted unfiltered camels ground into
pancake, sausage, egg remains.



SHORT TIMER

lifetime of saturday hours spent washing
cars, mowing lawns, painting, hammering, making
endless piles of sawdust, stifling angers burning
within,

childhood dreams, boy heroes, a captain nemo,
huck finn, running a trapline alone, homeruns and
touchdowns an early death, forgotten,

long gray years at humiliating daily "grind,"
hated, deadend job, always aware, intent of trying
hard at being a man,

not understanding those who talk about eating
pussy, other weird things, sure they joke, certain
local boys are getting in his daughters,

rare weekends, alone in camp, standing
outside naked, yelling to the trees, forest
darkness "where's the booze, hickey," like his
cool college degree pals,

distant chill toward art, music, people
who will write a poem, guesses it's all right for
others, but like mr. bridge, something to do on
weekends,

trim "suit" lines, humorless tie, short
brush cut hair contrasting comfortable, colorful
loose duds that feel good, free swinging ponytail,
hair flowing below shoulders, cinched,

victim of his own creation, chosen miserable
life, sacrificing for bitch wife, spoiled "gimme"
and "not" children's voices,

unable to make a split, get past child
support things, manage alone, find time to be
creative, chase after adventures,

float amazon rivers, become dharma bum,
climbing katahdin, drinking from summit's thoreau
springs, run ahead of pamplona bulls, down dusty
narrow streets, searching zhivago's ghost across
siberian steppes,

instead weary, angry old man tugging portable
oxygen tank on wheels stuck, senior citizen's drop-
in-center doorway, squeezing out meaningless final
seconds of lifetime wasted.



ODYSSEY HOMEWARD

first social security check down pay, red
boss convert tranny, nervous horses under the
hood, low mpg, insurance rider, dealer plates,

young local backwater femme, off season
after labor day, on the road traveling companion,
stream of consciousness yawp, dream quest,

continuing lifetime, self-destructive
performance art, journeying through hell, mind-
memories flashing back, nineteen, hitching rides,
searching, always searching,

munising city limits west, marquettte, powers,
negaunee, ispheming, republic, champion, walker,
ironwood, bruce crossing into wisconsin,

young girl with old history of "hit me, fuck
me," can't hurt, care less, anything goes abuse,
taking maybe "save my life" last chance,

hurley, ashland, hayward, ladysmith, eau
claire, rice lake, tomach, wisconsin dells miles,
past dixon, escaping metro minneapolis, st. paul
madness,

rhino-wino brown bag breakfasts, thin
blood singing, whispering mother-poet-son secrets,
reading bad verse, liking nice feeling of having a
girl friend again,

quiet moments watching her tease hair,
searching new feminine reality in rearview mirror,
ever patient listener to "cool" this, "super"
that,

blue highways around, missing downtown
dubuque, waterloo, cedar rapids, des moines, sioux
city, old graybeard poet, backwater mill town
existential spirit envied by rich, influential
men for what they can never do, be,

extended one night driving under starry
heavens, passing through sudden rainstorm, early,
foggy first dawn light melting shadows, radio off,
drifting in music, poetry of quiet,

omaha, lincoln, hastings, husker-husker flat
lands, mid-afternoon motel sanctuary, quickly
sensing close to losing another day, discovering
passions still burn inside angry, alienated young
lady, her silky loose hair a sweep across wrinkled
pillow, no longer fearing stranger poet,

fleeing brave new "mcworlds," shopping mall
p.a. squawk, "fun has just begun, stay tuned for
laughs and prizes" tv brain puke, house beautiful
wasteland tracts, unimaginative personas hooked on
buying more feels good,

cutting down through kansas, colorado corner,
driving deep into new mexico, across high western
cordilleras, off to far distant home,

collecting dry mesquite branches, good
small campfire, haunting smoking wisps billowing
up, signal to desert shaman, asking spiritual
help, finding right direction, "the path,"

waking to sunlight, rising, steady sweep,
massive butte, mesa, red granite coming alive,
black shadows in retreat,

starting out, trekking toward far horizon,
prints disappearing behind us, wasteland past
fading, sandy distance,

suddenly dark dancing shadows catching up,
sharing laughter, soft desert noon music, gaiety,
before racing quickly on ahead.



INVISIBLE WOMEN OF SORROW

youthful new picassos, future dharma bums,
anyone with nervous rush of creativity, unsated
desires for adventure, challenge,

run, walk, crawl, hasten to small town
limits, flee beyond the addictive lure of
village mediocrity and responsibility, the
black rages silently devouring a young girls'
soul,

homebodies becoming old women watching
youth disappear, daily mirror spot checks,
faded pom poms, wrinkled white boots lost
in dusty closet shadows,

married to simple men, satisfied to live
on the surface of things, made for television
"special effects" personalities,

making babies to fill spare time of dull
boring lives, aching for feminine gossip, the
security of group behavior, constant imbecilic
"cluck, cluck, cluck," drowning out painful,
timid femmes,

prisoners of sexual fascist husbands
suspicious of one who doesn't beat on "his lady"
now and then, owl-eyed children going to bed
frozen in fear, told next morning "love changes
everything,"

trapped hopeless women feeling life and
things out of control, dreaming nights of making
themselves bleed, sure it will cure the pain, yet
always at home, waiting for their man, so it can
begin happening all over again,

spending precious few dollars, local stores
and businesses run by colorless men lacking humor,
solid sunday churchmen, greedily pursuing wealth
rest of the week, married to wives dwelling on
what others own,

all pervasive community ethos resisting any
challenge to middle class values, ostracizing
quietly those who don't "live our way,"

small town morals pronounced by churches,
devout and zealous ministers, members, mad virgins
declaring puritanical correctness, every ready for
the "letter," burning at the stake,

mass mindset that values learning through
experience, condemning those seeking truth in
their imaginations,

poor trapped invisible women of sorrow, living
in exiled desperation, wishes, desires incognito,
true selves buried deep, lost,

one day forced to admit nothing has
been real, none of their experiences have counted,
suddenly alone without warmth, another loving
heart to share with.