A. D. Winans

BACK THEN


intelligence never got much further

than downtown Saigon

or a short trip to Da Nang

most of us were in the States

far behind enemy lines

doing our best to make the

world safe from the commie hordes


I remember one time

I interviewed a young Marine

a victim of the Tet offensive

he talked about throwing

Cong out of helicopters

after interrogations

claimed the nightmares

left him sleepless

kept seeing all those faces

in, on between the walls

said a buddy of his

had sent home drugs concealed

inside body bags

but no one at the time believed him

tiny pieces of flesh hitting

him in the face

blood between what was left

of his chewed off fingernails

and fragging a Lieutenant

kept haunting him


Intelligence said that

he couldn't be trusted

he was either a basket case

or perhaps just wanted out

of the military

so they gave him

a three day pass

just to play it safe

and set him up with

an appointment with

a V.A. shrink

not surprised when

he didn't show up

for the appointment


a week later

they found his body

down by the Beach Chalet

behind a forgotten old

WW 11 bunker


the bullet lodged

in his head

no bigger than the

guilt he left behind



MISSION STREET BAR


the coin disappears

the jukebox clicks

the record spins

moves one notch

drops in the

direction of the

tall blond dressed

in black  leather

motorcycle gear


I watch her move in rhythm

as she massages the

cue stick between her legs

putting out a cigarette

in the palm of one hand

as if to signal:

this pussy ain't meant

for fucking with

as she moves to the

back room

like a Saturday night cowboy

leaving me alone with

a half-finished drink

and a dick in need

of hard conversation



STATEMENT


I'm going to give up writing

for the Littles

I want to make it

BIG

I have moved my belongings

to the race track

and directed my mail

care of the Radio Shack


In between the daily double

and the pick six

you'll find me alone

in the stands

next to the news vendor

with sweaty hands

looking for the girl

of my dreams

spread out across the rail

my seed spilled on the grass

waiting to haul ass

as soon as the Pope

grants me absolution

after Sunday mass.

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