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Richard Denner |
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HOMAGE TO No. 45 RUE BLOMET Despair is great, and only humour noir helps to overcome it. -André Breton I. Give & Take of Beauty: I'm Given the Words I am drinking from the cancer cup with my lips and the lips of those who have suffered before me all of us drinking from the BIG cancer cup a larger suffering, these older voices, these other souls speaking through my heart, speaking directly to yours of energies that turn us again to earth and fertility There's deeper tissue here than I've yet laid bare I would feel a sharp object in my abdomen cutting gently and with an aim at laying open not reasoning out the unreasonable reality of death Enter my cells through the immense, gaping door of my perspective, welcome to the innards of my sex Here is a doorknob, here is a broom Take the broom and sweep aside the artifices Come inward, a geography trip to my heart, my dick and balls and my prostate II. Vanity of the Prostate I am Prostate I'm a gland, a secretor of fluid the size of a walnut, just below the bladder I propel the semen through the urethra a lubricator of soul, I'm the oil pump of the sex act I am the second major cause of death in men I am when I metastasize I enter your seminal vesicles, your bladder, your sphincter your lymph nodes, your spinal column, your bones cells running amuck III. Painpoint on a Scale of One to Ten easy to say pain is just pain like a jagged blade easy to say pain passes like night easy to say pain is a point of view when you're comfortable IV. Wishing It Were Different Allopathic treatments are radical prostatectomy & brachytherapy, tiny radioactive seeds implanted Possible side effects are urethral stricture, bleeding, pulmonary embolism, incontinence, erectile dysfunction e.d., a side effect of prostate surgery & brachytherapy but, then, it's hard to get a hard-on when you're dead V. Emptiness Beyond Within hit below the belt, a gut reaction do this, do that, do nothing implant me with seeds I'll radiate- dangerous to set a baby near me piss through a screen, collect my isotopic seeds return them to the manufacturer six months of radiation, radiating out, radiating in radiating in ten directions breathe in the bad, breathe out the good as long as I'm breathing VI. Light Expanding on Light biopsy reveals a tumor staged at T2, Gleason score of VI/X and psa of 6.3 protocol of cellar forte, grapeseed phytosome breast basics, beta plex, cyto-redoxin, green tea zinc, Eskimo oil and sun-ripened tomatoes sulfur-containing amino acids from animal proteins lower blood pH suppressing production of 1,25(OH)2D I'm ok with my death, makes me a gentler lover not ramming my hardness into you touching your hair, touching your skin, rubbing noses kissing your eyes, being with you, really seeing you holding heaven's qi using garuda sparks to grapple with the nagas "swiping the slate clean to live and work afresh" the worms bury us life is nothing if not invasive |