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Karl Koweski |
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happy meal my five year old daughter and I are engaged in another one of our heart to heart talks we have these conversations occasionally, every time I need to convince myself Gloria is happy and I've done everything within my power to be a good father so what do you want to be when you grow up... besides a kitty cat? I ask a kitty cat besides a kitty cat I says a singer? a writer? a ballerina? an actress? a McDonald's girl, she says the thought of unlimited happy meals so enticing she can hardly wait to grow up McDonalds? with a sinking heart I ask how she's going to provide for her daddy working a minimum wage job setting the mood my reputation as a porn connoisseur is widespread throughout the factory so when Dan-O handed me an unlabeled tape telling me to enjoy, I thought nothing out of the ordinary later that night, with the kid asleep I popped the tape into the VCR and settled onto the couch with my wife the video began with a close-up of a man' bowed head take it, take it, bitch, he gasps shoulders undulating as the camera reared back revealing the chicken he had pinned against a tree stump I grabbed the remote, hit fast forward avoiding the wife's horrified glare next is a pretty brunette, naked spread-eagled across a bare mattress this is better, I thought just before a collie was led into the room next was a man and his goat followed by a threesome with a llama I gave up after the pot-bellied pig I'm going to bed, my wife said after I ejected the tape alone |