- Ed Jamison, Jr.

Eyes half-opened waiting thinking about lunch, my mom gave me money for lunch so me and my friends can go get fast food for lunch, I have two classes before lunch and my stomach is growling. I wish I can wake up earlier for breakfast, but I never do. "This is your new homework assignment." Ms. Hopscotch pronounced through her nostrils. She was old, she must have been at least forty, but she did have big breasts which made us guys happy; especially, when she bent down to help us with homework. I always made sure she helped me with my homework, she must have thought I was dumb. "Your report is on?" Maybe it was on baseball, football or any sport, even golf. I didn't care. I hate writing but if I'm going to write I want to write about something I like. "..a future natural disaster, an example would be a volcano that scientist say might erupt or global warmer." My two immediate thoughts were African killer bees and California's great earthquake. She passed the instructions out, the bell rang. I decided to do my report on California?s next great quake, the quake that?s supposed to be bigger than the San Francisco quake. California falling into the ocean fascinated me. The school day began and ended without any unusual instances, except for going out for fast food. By the way, I went to the fast food place by myself, I lied I have no friends in school. It's no big deal, I'm a loner, a Lone Wolf like Lenny in Laverne and Shirley. I entered my house, well my parents' house as they always remind me. Their bedroom not mine, their clothes not mine, their this their that..blah blah blah. I started my dash to the bedroom, my safe haven. I heard the one, the one I always try to avoid. Too late. "Jack." I stopped. "Yes Mom." "How was school?" She didn't care, this was the moment when she acted concerned. Who knows why, guilt. "Fantastic." "Don't be sarcastic, sarcasm will get you no where in life." She was in the kitchen making dinner for the old drunk who stumbles home after work and drinking. "Fine." I knew she didn't care, she was being corjul. At least she was talking to me, my dad doesn't care. He's either at work or at the bar getting drunk. I wait for the night of hitting and yelling, waiting for him to burge into my room and slur at me that I'm a loser, lazy, a nothing. "Anything exciting happen?" I say to myself- short answers, act nice, put up with her for a few minutes it will all be over soon. "No, I just have stupid report to do." "About what?" "California's great earthquake." "The San Francisco quake?" "No, the one that's supposed to destroy California." "Oh, okay. Well you go along. I have to finish dinner before dad gets home." Dinner is always cold. Yes, I have to wait for him to come home before I eat dinner. To get started, I rented Nostrademous (you know the old guy who predicted the future). Orson Wells did the narration, years later I found out he (Orson) didn't believe any of it, he laughed between takes. The video was depression, every prediction negative, nothing good. He did predict natural disasters, an earthquake in California. I great start. Saturday, I went to the library (I have no friends). I didn't find much except for some scientist think the great quake will happen in the next ten years. Lets see, I'm thirteen now. By the time I'm twenty-three I'll be dead. Two years of legal alcohol abuse, not bad. Everything else in my paper I made up, I threw in some fictious quotes and footnotes, teachers never check. I also threw in the Nostrademous prediction for entertainment value. I added that he predicted the end of the earth, so if we don't die in the great earthquake then we will all die together. Many years have past since my grade school report and I'm still here. I never learned how to swim. (c) 2000 Ed Jamison, Jr.

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