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Thunder Sandwich #23 |
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Owen Roberts |
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Tequila! I'm looking at this picture of Pee Wee Herman it's his mugshot and he's not wearing the red lipstick, platform shoes, or the trademark tight grey suit instead, his hair is long and his face is somber (arrest will lead to that) millions of children (and adults) returned to Saturday morning television just to watch Pee Wee and there's been nothing offered quite the same since a funny little man caught masturbating in the dark a porn theatre where they keep the lights down low and stock plenty of tissue men pay their money and play with themselves and sometimes each other the taxpayers paid detectives to watch dirty movies and arrest guys bothering nobody but other than themselves my grandfather went to the porno theatres there used to be two of them now only one remains, the sign is falling apart and you know it's only a matter of time it's primo real estate and why waste primo real estate on a porno theatre when we could easily throw up a Blockbuster or Starbucks we need $12 late charges for movies we never found time to watch and $5 specialty coffees hell, let's tear down all the old bars and taverns let's tear down all the sex shops let's tear down all the art galleries let's tear down all the roominghouses we need more condos we need more townhomes we need more casinos we need another McDonalds more than we need that used bookshop we need Oprah and we need Dr. Phil we need mediocre TV shows and multi-screen movie houses why have a $35 a night motel when we can offer a $275,000 loft? why pay 600 men and 300 ladies to do a job that requires benefits and minimum wage salaries. just send it out of country, out of mind pay a Mexican or an Asian a dollar a day or less, to assemble jeans they will never be able to afford "900 lost jobs.. that's not so bad!" So says the man in the suit, who believes himself to be needed, important but don't get too comfortable, we must never get too comfortable fall asleep and you may never wake up poor Pee Wee |