Aurora Antonovic

Poetry Reading 101


I can't do it

I mean, I never was really good at this sort of thing anyway

You know, being proper at serious moments


I laugh at funerals

In church

During reprimands from those in authority

Yeah, I know - I need to grow up


Once, I laughed at a friend's presentation

He was talking about the importance of salt,

For crying out loud.

He asked me to sit in the front row to lend moral support

To maintain eye contact with him so he wouldn't lose courage

Instead, I dissolved into giggles that grew to loud guffaws and

I was forced to leave the room, in shame (although more to his than mine)
Things were never the same between us after that.


I've tried self-mutilation (nails dug into the palms of my hands)
Remembering tragedies,

All to no avail

I am destined to laugh my whole life through



Even now, as I am anticipating reading this little ditty

In the poetry café next session,

I am erupting in giggles

That start from the soles of my feet

And travel all the way

To my babbling mouth


Maybe if I brush my hair and wear something nice

No one will ever notice.

 

 

 

Dear


I would sit and listen to them back and forth

"What do you want for breakfast, dear"

He would grunt an answer,

She would appear with a plate of badly burned eggs,

Dry toast, and old coffee:

"Is that all right, dear?"

Later her little boy would call

To tell me there was nothing to eat for dinner

We weren't supposed to know she denied herself,

Denied her children,

Stand so straight she'd hope she'd disappear


Stew,

Soup,

And his favorite: doughnuts,

Chocolate glazed,

The ones he loved best


His eyes would light up,

His hands, thin and transparent,

The blue of his veins showing

As they reached for the box


I would walk down those stairs

Knowing that, tomorrow,

I would find the box, still full,

Crumpled in the trash can

Away from her temptation

The chocolate glaze melted in the hot sun

Their little boy crouched nearby,

Forgetting his hunger


But for now, I would walk to the car

And hear the growling,

"Who was that?"

To which she'd reply,

"No one, dear".



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