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Nicole Henares

The Downcast Dreamer

                       for Lorca


Tonight it's just me and the owls

saying to hell with it all

surrounded in miniature

ornamental beauty

snow-globes

useless objects

unremitting and limpid

searching for the ineffable

in the stink of the city

soggy gutters

hot pineapple

ATM machines

rust and dream

white laced with sticky sorrow

and the ash of rage


I'm turning mermaid and a bit sea-witch

my heart with the sexless ocean

shiny hard and gawdy

while the owls get drunk like pigeons

hoot titillations of angels

and soundless blessings


to empty arms



Once You Called Yourself a Gypsy and Had Green Hair

for Christopher Gibbs (1972-2001)


I find my sorrow submerged

in dusty plums, sleepy honeysuckle,

towering concrete and bruised archways

in these strange San Francisco streets.


The pigeons outside my window gurgle

polluted coos of greasy feathers

and jalapeno sunflower seeds

while I wonder why the needle

was in your arm after four proud years.


In my dreams I stumble

on a sequined roller coaster

in a cloud vortex of pines

to Halloweens, my Snow White costume,

your skeleton hands, Katie's virgin pin,

when I threw up on the Giant Dipper

and you named me "Roller Chunks,"

fellatio mimicry on my answering machine,

your way of saying call me back,

Always you fluting butterscotch

and orange crystal laughter,


Waking me to a silent geography

an extended empire

of blurred memory

and circling death flies

in the heavy drops of August.


[Index]

Thunder Sandwich #26 - Summer/Fall 2005