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Spiel

no curbing

 

hoping for a solid curb to set your feet on

as you swing your uncertain thighs

toward unfamiliar odds   

you need something rock hard

not like the fevered scripts you've writ

then unraveled 

thinking/wishing you knew exactly

what this will be like   maybe uhh maybe not

 

maybe the little shits down the road

will stare as you arrive

sense that you are up to something

get their moms whispering about you because

your license plates are from a faraway town

maybe an old yellow dog will greet you

sniff you in a too familiar way   like family

bring you to your senses and make you wonder

why you made such a big deal out of choosing

which shirt to wear - the peach and pink tie dye?

   the denim? the dead?

a dirt driveway will be sound enough once you turn

   off your key

release your seat belt

step on it

yeah, dirt'll have to do

 

but what if his veins roll

as you make the poke?

he won't resist

will he?

 

best pull over at qwikstop along the way

pick up a bottle of aquafina

to keep you hydrated

caffeinate your brain with a jumbo hershey

start smoking again if you need to   

you used to love the rush of menthols

you've got a damn serious hump to mount 

 

ok   write it like this: ok there's no curbing

his driveway doesn't amount to much   dirt

no   might be mud   ok it might be mud   you stuff

your histories and the I V bag beneath your arm

swing your thighs confidently to the left

as an old yellow dog dawdles toward you   

sniffs you   blood rushes your jugular   

your face is the color of your shirt

before you washed it the first time   to hell

with all the scripts you've written

you are here      you can't feel your knees

ok so you fuddle it and you drop your equipment

as you stoop to separate it from the mud   

you realize a tall gaunt man hovers

like a question mark   says yer just in time

this is not the first time

you've heard his voice

but as for this first sighting

of the depth of his eyes

well...

 

the old yellow dog breathes the man's crotch

then yours   slowly draws the two of you

through the mud to the front door of the guy's house

 

where the heavy knuckle

of his right thumb presses hard against the bone

of your left hip as you poke around

and attempt to prick his vein

where you find tough scar tissue from previous 

   pricks

so you must pry again and squeeze diligently

to locate viable flesh

he is receptive   says he is grateful

you have come   sorry you had to drive

from so far away just for this   

you are aware that he notices your blush

he opens like a baby robin begs a worm.


 ohh those hands   calluses like those steel ribs

on the dam at rusk reservoir where you used to go

to make your peace   and palms big as scoop shovels   

big enough to support your buns   

big enough

to make you glad you ventured out on mud

big enough to carry you all the way home

all the way home   all the way home

big enough to carry you all the way home

 

you droop the I V hose and bag from the tall

wrought iron lampstand behind his comfort chair

release the hose clamp

as you disappear into his arm

but you won't be staying long

 


Searching Thunder

 

Thunder misfires. Shoots a nail

through his knuckle  - hollers to the boys below

to heft up another square of shingles.

And a crowbar

to rip his thumb off the roof. Howls   sumpin

come along

grab ahole a me

as Gomez suddenly shows with a sixpak

of Bud and the bar     then steps

on Thunder's iron hand for ballast

as he dumps a Bud over his face

to chill him out. Thunder counts

all his women

to the throb shootin up his arm - ohh woe ohhh

oh honey wat cha dooin ta me   counts seven   

fifteen   thirty-five   Sees the hard blue

of cold rivers as Gomez splits

bone from steel. AGAIN!

Thunder shouts to the thrill. Drops and spreads

his rough-boned frame

across

a sun-drenched square of tile-red shingles.

Singes his thorough shoulders.   Stares straight

into sun. Sucks his thumb

plus the salt of his lip - oh honey

wat cha doooin ta me -

Where his head was when he drove

the fuckin nail through his knuckle and -

and that bitch's phone call.

Sayin she'd been searchin for a man like him. Sayin 

   she'd always wanted to be nailed

      on a rooftop   with all the world watching.

Sayin she'd read all his poems in a wet dream 

he was pretty good   

hot in fact      sayin

she was watchin him right now.      Sayin

how she looked real good in peach.      You know.

The color of ready flesh. That rooftop bitch -   

searchin for him. that's how it happened


[Index]

Thunder Sandwich #26 - Summer/Fall 2005