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Singing in the Rage
the thing that eats at me
is a delicate beast
a kindly soul
wandering
through gravestones
I mark terrible memories
with and wonder
what manner of madness
do shadows bring to bear
on open wounds.
why is the light
a poor antiseptic
for germs unyielding.
if I curse flesh
forsake spirit
kill flowers
crush machines:
what is left to hold
sickness or cure
woman or whore
fairness or flaw
what is left to hold
the attention
of rage.
Tiny Avengers
ghosts ships
do not come
for unchristian
sailors
in their blackest
moment
the elements
have this priviledge
justice by force
of sea
is by far the
most
swift and sweet
all ye whale
killers
wife beaters
whiskey drinkers
your time is
short
your sentence
eternal
your bodies
nourishment
for tiny avengers.
Stained
stained glass
stained with
blood of martyrs
humble men
betrayed by
their kinfolk
demanding reasons
why monsters
walk the earth
haunt the church
roam the playground
hunting sons
of innocense
stained glass
stained with
tears of mothers
loving mothers
spat upon by
symbols
of their faith
no holy book
offers refuge
no ugly curse
kills memory
evil is not such
a mystery
if our prayers
are being heard
are they?
Subway Student
Heavy breathing in a dark, urine-scented subway is the
urban call of
the wild. Another street girl, beaten by daddy, making the midnight
buck.
How I still find room for sympathy is something inexplicable. Maybe
because I'm one of the few who find her services bring no comfort---to
either of us.
I confess I never have been too fond of her smack habit.
Three cups
of coffee through through the girl last her last john: hot, fast and
forgotten. She's a trembling mop of cheap makeup that circle her sunken
eyes, eyes that scream for the next fix. I know the story well and
offer
no food. Street life seldom effects my appetite. A sure sign of sanity
I must say. My plate is clean as is my conscience. Believe it or shut
the hell up.
Her next customer is waiting outside. The usual type: nice
suit, cool
watch, married to a wife stiffer than a dead frozen bum on a winter
park
bench. And you know, she's bound to get a little extra out of him.
Guilt
trips trail these guys like a stray dog all the way home. He breaks
a
vow. She breaks another vein. Everyone's got a piece of paradise. But
people are rarely told paradise is a pair of dice thrown against our
dirty
little secrets. Where them dice stop---nobody knows and everybody pays.
We meet for coffee again. Again I'm buying because the
girl is as
broke as the Titanic and twice as sunk. I listen to her tales of acting
school. The better life. The big house. The banker husband. I don't
buy
any of this, the only acting this girl is going to do might involve
two
naked guys and a 16mm camera. But even that's a stretch for her, no
pun
intended. They test porno stars these days. She couldn't pass one of
those blood tests if Albert Einstein gave her the answers.
Every week she looks a year older. The very fact
that she is able to
draw customers is a shock. Time's must be tough on married life. I
listen
to her usual stories without comment. A tap on the coffee shop window
and
out the booth she travels to her next fix. This latest john looks like
he
owns Wall Street. She obviously got herself a good referral. Students
of
human nature should stick around here for a good while with eyes open,
pen
in hand, jotting down the true face behind the public mask. In daylight
the mirror always lies.
It's Friday night and I'm sitting down eating my favorite
two
cheeseburgers. Coffee piping hot. The greasy-spoon cook walks over
to my
table. This is odd since he hates anyone with an education above 5th
grade.
He tells me she's gone, strangled to death in an alley behind a rubber
factory. He points to a newspaper stand outside and walks away. The
complete story is three sentences long on page 87. This sort of thing
happens weekly in big cities. Nothing new. You wonder why they even
put
in it in the news. Sometimes the killer's a junkie john higher than
the
Empire State Building. And other times, a slick-haired, stock-broker
celebrating a major account. One girl dead a week is not enough to
interest
local police. They need dozens sliced open to ungodly ways in order
to be
interested. Such cases can make a career. Otherwise such murders stay
unsolved. Hookers are the disposable lighters of the masses.
I wanted to give a statement, out of decency, if not civic
duty, but
what's the use. No one cares enough to follow up. The cops crack the
best jokes while standing around a dead hooker. Anyone who gives a
statement
is assumed to have been a former customer or a potential suspect. As
long
the killer doesn't knock off a banker's wife, my words would be as
wasted
as bible in a patrol car. At best this event gives my assignment some
backbone, a kind of drama missing from the usual cold research papers.
Her death might make a difference then: the difference between
a C+ and a
very solid B. I've been through enough these past six weeks to deserve
anything less.
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